This is the page I erased on May 11 - sent to me by someone I will thank publically when he sends me permission.

Today at Lily and Ziv's house in Zichron Ya'akov, we were talking about how people are avoiding people in order not to get totally depressed. No one seems to be able to say anything that will comfort , -anyone. I thought that maybe this is connected to a kind of agressive language we have all adopted in order to mask our own vulnerability and impotence. I thought this might be universal to Palestinians and Israelis. But the result is that no body is expressing anything except rage and depression. That's probably why there is almost no creativity except painting in this region now. Lily noted that they had been thinking of setting up some kind of club -a literature group, or an art discussion group, but can't find what she'd like to host. I suggested a 'sanity group' -which she responded to immediately. i said we need to find different ways of thinking, that would help us to solve the problems here, and we need each other to do it. She promises to set one up, but let's see first who will join.

Tonight, at the Peace Demonstration in Rabin Square, I was thrilled that there were so many people. The speakers kept repeating -100,000 demonstrators. How heartening -I'll add some pictures here. Ezi took them -they aren't the best pictures he took this evening, but they show the size and atmosphere here’s one picture and here’s another Ha'aretz has the news on it: here

There were lots of people I hadn't seen for 3 years, since the demonstrations calling for elections... "The problem," Sylvia confided in me, "Is that all the people who are here supporting peace -are the only people in this country supporting peace."

I wasn't going to go to the demonstration -my back hurts -but i heard President Katzav being interviewed on television just before -he was saying that people should refrain from criticising the government at this time because it was encouraging the enemy. Are you saying that people who speak out are responsible for terrorism? No -he said -but people should refrain from criticism now. I don't like being told to shut up in a democracy.

Wonder if there are an equal number of people in Palestine who think about peace now.

Why was the attack on Gaza called off? Bella, whose som is a graduate of J enin, Schem, and Ramalla, is breathing easier no matter what the reason. So are a lot of others. I think the real reason is tactical -they were too prepared, it was going to be too bloody, and we've been too pressured by the U.S. I don't thin!( that peace has anything to do with it. But when I read that 100000 people were really at the peace rally, and i thin!( of all my friends who identify with the subject who couldn't make it, who had to babysit, who had a friend who needed a favor, or who had a bad back, i thin!( that sylvia was wrong. it's a little bit better than we thought. most important -the sense of impotence is just a little bit alleviated. May 12 Of course, friends have been complaining that i've just made israel that much more impotent by aiding the enemy with the support of peace.

I have a friend who is ultra right- wants Netanyahu back in, and reminds me that a Palestinian state is in opposition to the principles of the Likud party. We'll take care of Sharon tonight, he says. We'll put ,- him in his place.