1.
Underground
Don't run away from panic. When you feel the panic mount,
take a deep breath and, as you breath out, let go. keep trying.
Stay there almost as if you were floating in space.
Don't fight the feeling of panic. Accept it. You can do it.
2. Fear
Fear is very useful.
You know it prepares your body
for "fight or flight" response.
3. I saw my lady weep
1. Evil night
leaving me
with such dreams
a weave of loss
and light
softness
that blinds
my eyes
evil
night
to turn to now
that you
have turned away
Re
turn I say
always saw life
as a cycle
while you
with your arrow
want only
progress
a linear
direction
what you said then
about always
loving me
just for the memory
I want to hear it
even though I know that
we never will lie
together
until we die.
There was a moment you should
have touched me - one moment alone
in both our lives -
you know that moment,
even now
wonder if
How sweet of you to notice
my agony, my dear, how
kind of you to inquire again.
We will leave it
at that, of course.
Even I
have my
limit
of pain.
6. Once,
mid love-making
I remembered how
even the great passion
of my parents
did not save them
from dying slowly
separately
in the hands of strangers
How did we get into this lover's fight?
All night you push, I resist, wishing
we were sleeping our separate sleeps
in that warm bed you brought with you
to my place.
By dawn this waste of love
seals my heart and with the sun I love you
not at all.
You point a knife to your chest
but the investment is lost.
After a month someone comes for the bed.
she tries to kill herself
girl breaks up with a guy
he tries to kill her
either way it's her fault
Amazing how some insignificant café
emerges in your memory, some night
when insomnia has gripped you and you know
you’re not going to be any good for that big day
ahead.
Tonight there is an old olive tree shading the
street
and a tiny table rickety on the cobblestones
with two cups of
splashing coffee,
and the mood makes for a dreamy contented sleep
even as the coffee keeps you alert, worrying what
the source of this memory really
All texts, with the exception of Panic, are © 2005
by Karen Alkalay-Gut.