It is hard to describe the extent to which I am collapsing – a perfectly healthy person, unable to cope with the heat. Even though today was a kind of relief.
But we are heading into September, the beginning of school, and the high holidays. So maybe the height of all the questions I’ve been asking about religion are what is tiring me out. Like, when the Messiah comes, what will happen with all my implants? will I get to keep them?
And then all the questions about sinning and confessions. I know that “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory,” but I don’t feel the whole thing is so simple. Like individual responsibility for collective crimes, or collective responsibility for individual crimes. I always thought that in Kol Nidre we begin with associating ourselves as one of the community, all sinners, but there are communities and there are communities.
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