POETRY AND PUBLIC TOILETS
A poet's ambition must be very small
To write his verse on a toilet wall
Although his work may be full of wit
He can only shine where others shit.
(anon )
1. SIGN OVER A BLANK NOTEBOOK
HANGING FROM A STRING
ON THE COAT HOOK
This place
is for your poems
Think of it
As a amenity
2. INSTRUCTIONS UPON ENTERING
AN UNKNOWN TOILET STALL
First thing you do is piss on the seat.
That way you kill all the foreign germs.
Then wipe it clean and sit down.
Be assured
the person waiting outside
dogging your steps
will do the same
Even before
we enter, the smell
of blue urine
invades
our sense
However high we fly
our waste
and our desire
to hide it
flies too
.
Once, we lived in Long Island
when the planes would descend to land
and the blue ice
from the long voyage
could thaw
and fall
into your kitchen
at the whim of weather
4.SANITARY TOILET COVER
That thin layer
of baking pan liner
that contains me
from viral terrors—
a moment of grace
from the world
Make sure you pretend
you know what you’re doing
that you are not at all in need,
that you are in fact an indifferent guest
when you walk past that desk clerk
to desperate relief
ABOUT MUSEUM TOILETS
Anything
you do here
may be put on display
as art
I wrote a poem
on toilet paper
and watched it
swirl down
into the maelstrom
How frail
my trail of water
in the public toilet
and how wan the reflection of
the moon
8. STRANGERS
This guy goes to the men’s room and discovers after he is done that there is no toilet paper. He bends over and sees in the booth on his right that there is no one, but on his left he sees a pair of feet. “Excuse me, he says, “could you give me some toilet paper” “it’ll cost you a buck.” “What? That’s outrageous!” “Suit yourself.” He’s desperate, so he slips a dollar under the wall and gets back some paper. Once he’s out of the booth, he starts thinking. “God, this guy is so enterprising. I’ve got to see him. So he waits a while, and the guy comes out. “Listen, I’ve got to tell you you’ve got a great set up here. Congratulations! The only trouble is, what would happen if someone else was sitting on my other side, and he gave me the paper for free? Why don’t I sit in the other booth and cover you. Then we could split it!” “Jesus,” says the other guy, “I’ve been sitting here all day and all I get are pissers. The first shit wants to be my partner.”
9. STRANGERS
Who am I
in this tiny
anonymous space
how can I trace
the memories
of what I was
when I step out of the booth
and spot a familiar face
in the mirror
10. GUEST ROOM TOILET
On the floor is a rug that looks like my dog, skinned.
I cannot make myself stay in there, pee
and run out without washing my face –
as if my whole past
could be transformed
by a visit to a strange
powder room
11. CONCLUSION
You want a poem to end
on its own
like a toilet that flushes
when you step away